


Help Me Hold On To You

by noahs



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lowkey Crack, Mentions of Taylor Swift, Post 4x22, Post Reveal, angst angst angst, everything i know about supercorp is because of tumblr, i have only watched one supergirl episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 23:29:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20182513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noahs/pseuds/noahs
Summary: Everything is relatively fine with her life, her articles have been cherished, the city is not in imminent danger, Alex doesn’t cry herself to sleep with pictures of Maggie anymore, not secretive relatives trying to kill her. Everything seems perfectly normal. Except.Kara finally works enough courage to cast her eyes down at her phone. A picture of Lena and her, the brunette hugging her from behind. Bright smiles cover their faces and it almost makes her want to cry, how happy was she back then, how she took it all from granted.





	Help Me Hold On To You

**Author's Note:**

> So I broke my finger in a fight last week and I didn’t want to let my other fic abandoned so I started to type random things in my laptop trying to figure out how to type with an injured hand and this happened.

Kara doesn’t think she has felt this miserable before. She’s restless, can’t sleep properly, and she can only manage to eat two boxes of pizza in a row. Two! It almost makes her sound pathetic and makes her feel like she doesn’t deserve her title earned at Sausage & Sauce for the top eater that gives her free meals for life anymore.

There’s a feeling inside her, clawing at her stomach and griping at her lungs like hands made of iron. It makes her want to hurt herself and so she does, letting herself get hit by random aliens; she takes all the blows that she could easily avoid. She goes on with her life, feeling a little dead by each day that passes, but one day she ends up badly injured, landing on the DEO’s medical bay.

Alex is bristling at her, fuming. “What that was that Supergirl? I have seen you fight before, I know you shouldn’t be like this! You didn’t even try to defend yourself!”

“Sorry.” It’s all she can muster, her eyelids already dropping heavy with exhaustion.

Alex throws her head over her stomach, grasping at her ripped suit, and cries. Alex, her strong sister, rarely cries, much less in front of her and it makes guilt sit heavy as a rock in her stomach.

//

Kara has to admit after Alex’s episode that something is wrong.

So she sits down on her couch, after spending a day at the DEO healing, and starts to think.

Everything is relatively fine with her life, her articles have been cherished, the city is not in imminent danger, Alex doesn’t cry herself to sleep with pictures of Maggie anymore, not secretive relatives trying to kill her. Everything seems perfectly normal. Except.

Kara finally works enough courage to cast her eyes down at her phone. A picture of Lena and her, the brunette hugging her from behind. Bright smiles cover their faces and it almost makes her want to cry, how happy was she back then, how she took it all from granted.

Her fingers move with a mind of their own and open her chat with her best friend. The content makes her feel as if she swallowed a whole rock.

_05/15/2019_

_and then they gave me the pizzas for free! bc the manager thougth it was super cool how fast could i eat them_

_that’s disgusting_

_u still love me like that_

_unfortunately, I do_

_05/22/2019_

_Hey lee _ _😊 lunch today_

_?_

That message was sent three months ago, and Lena never answered to it. At first Kara thought she was busy and didn’t pay it too much mind, they didn’t always get to have lunch together after all. But after the whole day passing with no text from Lena and that wasn’t usual. Kara called her the same night, about to go flying into her office to check everything was okay when Lena replied on the third ring.

“Lena?”

“Hello.”

“Gosh, I was so worried. You didn’t reply to my texts and given that there’s always someone trying to kill you I thought I should check on you.”

“Kara.” There was something strange about her voice that she couldn’t put her finger on it. At least not trough the phone. “I have been busy, sorry. I’m going away in a business trip for a couple of weeks, thought you should know that.”

“Oh.” She said, caught off guard. Lena was being so formal with her, it made her heart ache. “Where to?”

Lena sighed through the line. “Metropolis, then another European countries.”

“I’m gonna miss you.” She said automatically, hearing Lena take in a sharp breath and frowned. They were always affectionate so why was her fried acting like this?

“I’ll miss you too.” Lena said, and there was so much pain in her words for an expression like that. Kara tried to calm her racing heart.

“Uhh―but we will talk right? Facetime, Skype, calls. There’s so much technology these days, golly I can’t keep up. We don’t have to be apart like those old couples from the fifties, I mean not that we are a couple but―”

“I’ll be very busy Kara.” It felt like a pinch to her heart. Lena seemed to notice this too because she added, “But I’ll try.”

Lena hung up after wishing her goodnight and Kara went to sleep feeling like something was wrong.

-

Kara tried to call her, clicking the button with her name on it several times, calling her ten times a day, tried to contact her by every social media possible but it was all useless. Lena would never pick up.

She was busy, she told herself. She told her she was going to be busy and she was being ridiculous.

But more weeks passed by, and still no sign of Lena. Kara would only know where she was because she was spotted by paparazzi leaving her jet. Italy, France, Switzerland.

“She is busy.” Kara repeated that every day like a mantra, after pressing her name in the contacts list over twenty times. “She is just busy.” She wiped a tear and her voice dropped an octave. “Too busy for her best friend.”

Kara made herself believe that, for a whole month. Until pictures of Lena being in a bar in Amsterdam surfaced, her cheeks red, eyes without focus and hand in hand with a blonde girl. She had a stupid smile on and seemed drunk out of her ass.

Kara didn’t think twice before flying to Amsterdam. It took her five minutes, with rage pumping through her veins. Once she got there, she realized she had no idea where Lena exactly was, so she fished for her phone in her pocket only to come back empty. Right, she left her phone back in National City, along with her suit.

Shoot. She flied back to her home, this time changing in her suit and making sure to grab her phone. She made it to Amsterdam in three minutes now, and after ten agonizing minutes of thinking what Lena and the blonde were already doing, she managed to find the name of the bar and its location. She had to go to in the peace of her GPS and that almost drove her mad until she got there another ten minutes later.

She landed in front of Lena, who was still outside of the bar. The blonde was laughing loudly, burring her face in the crook of the brunette’s neck, raising her head at the dull sound that Kara’s boots made touching the ground.

“Wow, Lena, I’m so wasted.” The blonde laughed. “I’m even seeing Supergirl here!”

Kara didn’t loss her resolve. She brought her hands to her hips, a stern expression on her face. “Miss Luthor.”

“Supergirl.” Her words were slurred but there was still a bite to her voice. And that’s okay, Kara thought, because Lena has always had a problem with Supergirl. But not with Kara Danvers and that’s why she’s here, late at night, in a country across the world just to see her.

Lena stares at her quietly, and Kara realized she didn’t really think this trough.

“An alien was causing chaos here and I came to take care of it.” She hated how fast she could hear Lena’s heart beating and she hoped it didn’t have anything to do with the fact that the blonde is practically all over her. She took a deep breath before speaking again. “Kara told me she hasn’t heard about you in a while, so I came to check on you.”

“Aliens in Amsterdam.” Lena pressed her lips together and she knew that she didn’t buy her lie but she didn’t care. If she was thinking rationally, she wouldn’t even be here in first place. “I can perfectly take care of myself but thank you.”

Lena made a move to go to the parking lot but Kara couldn’t let her go. Not when she’s finally in front of her, in flesh and bone, after agonizing weeks yearning for her.

“Miss Luthor!” She called out and Lena turned, rising an eyebrow. “Uh, is everything fine between you and Kara? She sounded so worried.”

Lena stared at her for what it felt like hours, taking all her willpower to not squirm under the weight of her gaze. She settled her face into a stone mask, before licking her lips. “My personal life doesn’t concern you, Supergirl.” She turned on her heel, dragging the blonde with her who only laughs louder and disappears into the darkness.

Kara found out for the first time how hard is to fly with tears blurring your vision.

Once she got back home, she called Alex. Her sister arrived within twenty minutes, with bags and bags of food. Eating didn’t even make her feel better, so she just opts to keep crying.

“Kara, talk to me. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” Alex was rubbing circles on her back that only made her want to cry more. She didn’t say nothing because she didn’t know how to explain it, she didn’t know why is affecting her so much. She just cries on her sister’s shoulder and when tears have finally left her, she sucks in a sharp air of breath before speaking. “I want bangs.”

“What?!” Alex’s eyes widened and it’s clear that that was the least thing she was expecting out of her sister’s mouth. Kara shrugged and thought of the blonde Lena was holding and laughing with, thought of how Lena used to do that with her, thought of how the blonde had bangs. “I want bangs.”

“Okay.” Alex didn’t seem convinced, but she relents. “I’ll get you an appointment with the salon tomorrow.” She touches her short hair. “I could do with a layered too.”

The bangs weren’t terrible. They made her face look rounder and cuter and her level of adorableness increases. Good, Kara thought, this way she can make Lena feel guiltier for ghosting her when she sees her.

She tried calling Lena after Amsterdam and she still didn’t pick up. Kara couldn’t keep telling herself the lie of her best friend being busy and cried herself to sleep every night.

Another few weeks passed without hearing of Lena. One lonely evening Kara was thinking to fly wherever Lena is and confront her about it, tell her she’s Supergirl so Lena would know that she can’t run away from her even if she is across the world. It’s not bad idea, she was already planning on telling her that she was Supergirl. She was almost ready to take off when Alex called her, telling her that her presence at the DEO is urgent. Kara made it in thirty seconds, thinking there was an attack but when she arrived, Alex was waiting for her with a smile. She hooked their arms together and lead her through a narrow hallway.

“I know you haven’t been feeling good lately. So I decided to pull some strings and―“ Alex opened a large black door. “Tada!”

There, hanging in a tube, was her normal suit. Except it had pants.

Pants.

Her suit had fucking pants.

She squealed, she had been begging for this for years, and hugged her sister. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Kara tried on her new suit, loving how the fabric covered her whole body and sighed. This is the happiest she had been since Lena left.

//

Kara blinks, getting out of her trance. She wipes at the tears in her eyes at the memories and throws her phone away. It had been a little over a month since she saw Lena in Amsterdam and it only makes her want to cry more.

She eats half-heartily and leaves the TV with the news channel on. The sound is luring her to sleep when she hears something that catches her attention and jolts awake, a name. She blinks and focus on what the lady in the TV is saying.

“...She was spotted arriving back to Nacional City a few hours ago. It seems that the Luthor heiress is finally back from her business trip.” In the background there’s a blurry picture of Lena with a black hoodie, leaving her jet. The lady moves on to talk about Lena’s stance in aliens but Kara isn’t listening anymore.

Lena is here, she’s here.

She’s finally here.

It takes all of her willpower to not jump out of her window and go flying to her office.

The time is the only thing that is stopping her; is close to midnight. Lena must be tired and she needs to rest.

Kara can’t sleep that night, feeling like every inch of her body is on fire.

The next morning, when she’s doing her checkup fly, she flies to the L-Corp building. She had avoided it since Lena left; there was no point anymore. But now that she knows Lena is here, she needs to go.

Everything seems normal, except.

Kara almost crashes into the building when she notices the balcony isn’t there anymore.

“What―“ She tries to look through the window and see that the blinds are closed. She uses her x-ray vision and can see Lena’s silhouette bended over her desk, working on something. Perfectly normal, as if she didn’t take her fucking balcony off.

She considers tapping at the window but then decides against it. She doesn’t want to see Lena as Supergirl, she needs to see her as Kara Danvers.

She touches down in the ground, in an empty alley and changes into her civil clothes again. She walks the short distance to L-Corp, thinking in what could have caused Lena to remove her balcony.

Maybe Amsterdam pissed her off more than Kara sensed.

The guards greet her with smiles as they are used to her presence by now and Kara feels more at ease, waiting the numbers in the elevator to change. The ride was agonizingly slow and she was practically jumping with eagerness.

She has too much to tell Lena.

She got bangs and pants in her suit and she’s going to get a Pulitzer, she’s going to finally be recognized by her work and―Oh. She couldn’t tell her about the pants, but she could tell her about her new haircut and the Pulitzer. Rao, she had missed her so much.

The elevator doors finally open and Kara jumps in the foyer. Jess is at the desk, with a frown on her face and Kara greets her happily before going to open the door to Lena’s office.

Jess is surprisingly quick for a human. She grabs her hand before it can reach the handle and scowls. “Miss Danvers, you need an appointment to see Miss Luthor.”

Kara just smiles. She can’t be talking seriously. “What are you talking about? I have unrestrained access to her office.”

Jess shifts her weight and smiles, awkwardly. “Not anymore.”

That feels worse than seeing Lena remove the balcony. Kara already can feel tears prickling at her eyes, feeling like something is terribly wrong and this is just a bad dream.

“I’m her best friend.” She says more to herself. “What do you mean not anymore?”

“It means that you need an appointment―“

“No, I mean, why did she remove it?”

Jess breathes shakily and gives her a sympathy look. “I don’t know. I just follow her orders.”

“Can you please tell her―“ She sucks in a deep breath to stop from crying. It seems is all she can do these days. “that I’m here? Please.”

Jess nods and picks up her phone. “Miss Luthor, Miss Danvers is here to see you.” She frowns. “No, she doesn’t have an appointment.” Her scowl deepens. “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Kara holds her breath until Jess turns to look at her, gesturing at the door. “Go ahead.”

She feels like if she can breathe again, and bursts through the door. It isn’t an imagination, the way Lena’s face lit up, the way her smile splits her face in a half.

Then why, why, why.

“Kara!” She says and the happiness in her voice is so sincere that makes her throw herself into her arms. Lena is caught off guard by the hug but stands quickly and hugs Kara back.

“Gosh, I missed you so much.” She can’t stop the tears this time and holds onto Lena tighter. “I missed you so so much. You don’t have idea.”

Lena lets her hug her, and Kara buries her face in the crook of her neck, wetting the expensive fabric.

“I missed you too,” Lena says in a tiny voice and it only makes Kara want to cry more.

They spend a few minutes into each other’s arms until Kara has calmed enough and drags Lena to the white couch.

“I got bangs!” It’s the first thing she says.

“You look like Taylor Swift.” Lena giggles and reaches said bangs. Kara nearly explodes because of the touch.

They talk a lot, Kara rambling and Lena chuckling and nodding. She doesn’t mention the things she’s dying to say, she doesn’t ask her why she didn’t reply her calls, she doesn’t ask her why she doesn’t have unrestrained access to her office anymore. She doesn’t ask because Lena is here, happy, laughing at her jokes. And that’s what matters. Kara doesn’t want to spend their precious time arguing or anything that could take the smile away from her friend’s face.

She’s going to talk to her about it, when things are more stable, when she doesn’t feel like Lena is slipping away from her like water on her fingers.

Lena is talking her about her business trip, head rested against her open palm and Kara’s eyes drift to the low cut she’s wearing, and it has her internally groaning it. This isn’t fair. The swell of her breasts is peeking too much to not notice them. She’s almost sweating when Lena caughts on her distress and snuggles closer, close enough to shove her boobs all over her face if she leaned a little forward.

“Are you okay Kara?” Her eyes have a glint of amusement, almost purring her name. She looks away as fast as she can, pink tinting her cheeks.

In her hazzle to pretend she wasn’t looking at her chest, Kara blurts out without thinking, “You removed the balcony.”

Lena blinks, looking at the window and Kara exhales at not being the focus of her heavy weight gaze anymore. “Mhm. I’m remodeling my office.” She allows herself to believe that’s the reason she can’t see any framed pictures of her with Lena around the room.

“Didn’t you like the balcony?” Kara has to ask, if she can’t mention Supergirl, she can tiptoe around the subject.

Lena takes a sip of her scotch. This is like her sixth glass and Kara would have been worried if she weren’t so distracted by the fact that she was getting to spend time with her friend again. “It brought a lot of unsolicited guests. And I almost died when I fell from it. It just brought a lot of bad memories.”

Kara hopes her best that Lena confiding Kara her secrets and her calling Lena a kind beautiful soul isn’t one of them.

A knock at the door interrupts them.

“Miss Luthor, your five o’clock is here.”

Lena stands and Kara does the same, although a bit reluctantly. It wasn’t enough time.

“I forgot to invite you to my Pulitzer ceremony!” She rummages through her bag and finds the invitation. She places it on Lena’s cold hands and her smile falters a little. “You are coming right?”

“Of course.” Her friend checks the invitation. “This Friday’?”

Kara nods.

“I’ll be there.”

Her smile grows to its normal size again. “Good, because you are the person that deserves more than anyone to be there.”

“Me?” Lena gives her a puzzled look through her lashes.

Kara fumbles with her glasses, slightly flustered. “You are kind of the reason I became a reporter. Remember the time we first met?”

“Oh,” Lena says and there’s fondness in her eyes but there’s also something else, something close to yearning and Kara doesn’t dare question it. “I promise you I will be there.”

Kara leaves after that, with a kiss on her cheek and although they were talking for over three hours, she misses Lena terribly as soon as she steps out of the door.

//

Kara tries to text her again, hoping things are different now because Lena is here. But her texts don’t get an answer and only when she sends the ten one she gets a response, _‘I’m pretty busy. Sorry.’_

She could go to her office, but she doesn’t know if she could handle Lena rejecting her entrance. She thinks of making an appointment and actually does, but Jess talks to her as if she is a stranger and tells her that Lena’s schedule is very busy and ends up giving her an appointment for the next month.

Kara punches a hole in her wall. Then covers it with a painting.

After two nights without seeing her, she flies close to her apartment. Lena has large widows but the curtains are covering the inside and feeling like the worst of stalkers Kara uses her x-ray vision and tuns into her super hearing.

Lena is sprawled across her mini bar, head buried between her arms. There’s three empty bottles of what Kara assumes is scotch and a glass half full. Beside her, there’s a speaker blasting a soft melody with sad lyrics,

_All the king’s horses _

_All the king’s men _

_Couldn’t put me together again_

_Cause all of my enemies started as friends_

“Fuck Taylor Swift.” She hears Lena groan with tears in her voice. Next thing she hears is the sound of glass shattering and the music ends abruptly.

Kara turns in the direction of her house, with a knot in her throat.

//

Lena is not here.

It’s one of her most important moments in her life and Lena is not here. And she promised that she would.

She promised.

Lena never breaks her promises.

But Lena is not here.

Kara sucks in a sharp breath, aware of the audience looking at her expectantly. She has her Pulitzer in her hands and she can’t stop them from shaking because Lena isn’t here.

She steps closer to the microphone. “Goodnight National City. I am― um― I am very honor―“

There’s a dull sound and then there she is, sliding in a chair in next to Alex, a sheepish smile on her face. She is wearing a perfect red dress and Kara can’t help but think how they are wearing the colors of House-El, hers blue and Lena’s red. They have always been the perfect pair, of course Lena had to come.

Kara feels like if she can breathe again, allows herself to think that everything is fine. Words come out of her easier this time, steadier. “... And special thanks to my best friend in the world, Lena Luthor because had not been because of her, I wouldn’t be here tonight. And I meant that in more than one way.” The crowd erupts in cheers and Lena’s face is red, glowing with pride, clapping louder than the rest.

Yeah, Kara thinks, everything is fine.

//

Everything is not fine.

Lena had dragged her out to a deserted lobby, while everyone was eating.

“Hey Lena, what’s the matter? It has something to do with the fact that you arrived late? Or is something else bothering you? Because if that’s the case I can―“

“Kara.” Lena cuts off her rambling with a stern voice. “I can’t keep doing this anymore.”

“What?” A crinkle appears in her forehead. “Lena what are you talking about?”

Her eyes harden. “God, you even have the same crinkle.”

Kara freezes. Her words feel like a punch to her gut.

No, no, no.

No.

Lena steps closer and takes her glasses away. Kara lets her, face flushed, her head feeling like it’s going to explode from all the emotions she’s going through right know.

She doesn’t look at Lena in the eyes right away. Instead, she focuses her eyes on the wall beside them.

“Kara, look at me.” She doesn’t. How is she going to look at her when she has been lying to her this whole time?

Lena lifts her chin and she can’t advert her eyes anymore. Lena’s jaw is clenched, most likely gritting her teeth and eyes wet. But the worst is the expression on her face, the raw hurt and betrayal. It makes her heart sting; she never thought she would be the receiving end of that look.

This is what she was afraid of, she spent years making Lena trust her and for what? Now she’s going to lump her with every person that has betrayed her.

“I was going to tell you. I swear I was planning to tell you.”

“When?” Lena bristles and Kara flinches. They have fought before but it was never like this. “You have been lying to my face for three years! I let you in, you knew better than anyone else that honesty is what most I value in people, you knew that I hate lies.” She pinches her nose, eyes getting glassier by the second but the tears don’t dare leave her eyes. “I felt like the worst scum on this earth for keeping secrets from you, for lying to my ever lovely friend Kara Danvers who has been nothing but honest with me. How stupid I was, thinking someone could ever care for me. I always thought you didn’t feel real, how could someone trust so blindly in me? I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, but as the time passed you kept proving yourself so I allowed myself to believe in you. But I was right, it wasn’t real and trusting you was the worst mistake I have ever made.”

“I do care for you! I do trust you!” Kara was at loss for words, she just wanted to get this over with, fix it. Kara took all of Lena’s blows because she knew she deserved them but she was not going to just stand by while her friend accused her of not caring for her. “I shouldn’t have kept the secret for so long but you mean a lot to me Lena, a lot. Our friendship wasn’t a lie.”

Her lips snarl. Lena looks so much like Lillian right now that it makes her heart ache more. “You have a funny way of showing it. You know what’s the worst part? Lex was the one that told me. Lex, my murderous brother, told me that the one person I gave every piece of myself away was lying to my face during all this time.”

“This why I didn’t want to tell you! Not because I didn’t trust you but because I was scared of how you were going to react.” She raises her voice, at least Lena has to understand that. “I didn’t want to lose you.”

Lena presses her lips together and seems to consider Kara’s words. It’s like the word stops, Kara stripped bare to her friend, Lena finally seeing her without the invisible wall that was raised by her biggest secret. 

Kara feels a flicker of hope before Lena’s face hardens and her stomach drops. “You already have.”

Lena leaves like that, passing her by the shoulder with eyes red, dropping her glasses on the floor. She doesn’t stop her and squeezes her eyes shut, feeling the weight of all the actions she has committed over the last years that lead her to this single moment. She regrets them all.

Of course Lena had to find out in the worst possible way.

Of course everything had to blow in her face in the worst possible way.

But worst of all, Kara did the only thing she promised herself she would never do.

She hurt Lena.

//

Lena punches her on the face, in a public street. 

She used some kind of device under her hand to tear trough her Kryptonian skin and break her nose.

“Kara.” Lena had said while she was wearing the Supergirl suit. The poison in her voice was enough to threw her off, and she didn’t even see the blow coming.

“Great, take the anger outside!” She says, holding her bloody nose, trying to smile. “If punching me makes you feel better, then be my guest! I hear it’s very therapeutic to take your feelings out instead of bottling them up. Heck, if you want me to be your punch bag I’ll happily do it!”

Kara extends her arms as if saying ‘here, hit me’ and smiles bigger, a kind expression on her face despite the blood.

Lena blinks, bewildered. Once she seems to pick up her jaw from the floor, she pursues her lips and spats, “I should have expected this from you.”

She turns on her heel and Kara’s smile falters.

//

Despite Alex’s fear, Lena doesn’t go evil.

Kara thanks Rao because she knows, deep inside her that if Lena goes evil, she would have to chase her down until the end of the world, trying to stop her. And then―

She would help her take down the world. She would join her. Because is Lena Luthor and she knows there isn’t anything in the multiverse that she wouldn’t do for Lena Luthor.

Lena doesn’t go evil but she does something way worse.

She creates a Virtual Reality. Alex calls it ‘the blue eyes thingy’.

She puts those weird things on her eyes and disconnects from the world.

Every time Kara secretly checks on her―because she has been checking on her since that horrible day― she sees her slumped in the couch of her apartment, not moving a single limb, awfully quiet.

She even stops going to her office more often than not and L-Corp is Lena’s biggest priority after― Well, L-Corp is her biggest priority now. Neglect her company is so unlike her.

Something is awfully wrong with Lena and she can’t do nothing about it because in first place, she was the one that caused it.

The inability to do smoothing eats her away, making everything harder. Lena is so close but also so far away and she can’t blame nobody but herself. She aches, yearns for her touch, for the chance to have her best friend back.

Two months pass before she can’t take it anymore. She breaks into her apartment, wearing a button down and her glasses, even if Lena knows now that she doesn’t really need them.

The brunette is unimpressed, lazily blinking at Kara and taking another sip of scotch as if Kara being in her apartment is as natural as the furniture. It used to be, Kara thinks with a sting in her heart.

“Supergirl,” she laughs without humor. “Or should I call you Kara.”

“Lena―“

“Oh, I know!” She cuts her off. “Liar suits you best.”

She sighs. “Lena you need to stop using your VR to escape your problems. Can’t you see this isn’t healthy? You are putting your job and everything you care about aside to get lost in this fantasy.”

“God, that crinkle is so annoying.” Lena takes another sip. “I don’t trust humans, not anymore. I only trust technology.”

“Well, I’m lucky to be an alien then.” Kara offers her a shy smile, and Lena only scowls, pouring another glass.

“You are not funny.”

“Lena, please. Insult me all you want, take down the city, okay no, don’t do that please, make your revenge on me, but please stop using this Virtual Reality as a way to cope. Don’t waste your life away on that illusion.”

Lena gives her a look over, her eyes dragging slowly across her body that makes her nape’s hair tingle.

“Must be difficult. To beg in your knees in that short skirt.”

Kara answers before she can stop herself, outraged. “It doesn’t have a skirt anymore. It has pants now. You would know if you didn’t spend all your days locked away in here.”

“I fuck you.” Lena cuts in sharply and Kara gapes. She starts to speak again before the brunette interrupts her again, “In my Virtual Reality, I replicated National City. I replicated you, every imperfection and made you to love me. I fuck you, have you begging for me, it gives me some sick sense of twisted power and is what’s keeps me going, even if is not real.” Her lips curl in a snarl. “Isn’t it sad that it is only in an alternative realty where I can make you love me?”

“I do love you.” Kara says as natural as breathing. That causes a reaction from Lena, her eyes widening slightly. “I love you so much it’s going to tear me apart seeing how you destroy yourself. I don’t know what to be without you around, I have been such a mess since you left and I―“ Kara takes a deep breath, about to let herself be vulnerable. “I’m in love with you.”

Lena finally drops the scotch. “You.” She growls, rising from her seat and stepping closer until she’s in front of her. She pokes her chest, something burning in her eyes. “You don’t get to do this. Not now,” Lena’s eyes get wet. “You don’t get to confess your feelings when I’m at my worst, when I’m so mad at you that it makes me want to rip off my hair. You don’t get to do this to me, I won’t let you.” Her voice is shaky now, her breaths unsteady.

“Sorry.” It’s all she can say. Lena traces the movement of her lips and something flashes in her eyes before she is grabbing her by the shirt and crashing their lips together. It’s a messy kiss with tears making everything salty, but Kara doesn’t care because this is already the best kiss she has ever had. Lena pulls away and Kara whimpers, actually whimpers, her eyes dark and tores the buttons apart and then her mouth is everywhere, in her neck, her collarbone. She kneels to kiss the lower part of her stomach, making her trail of hairs there tingle.

Lena goes for the button of her slacks, and looks up at her, a question in her eyes. Kara nods slightly and in seconds she’s pushing down her slacks, and playing with the waistband of her panties. Kara wishes she would have worn something more sexy than white underwear with imprints of little pizzas, but then again she had no way of knowing that her visit would end up on this. She tugs them down too only to be greeted by a wet patch of blonde hairs, sweeping her tongue all over her slit, tasting her and Kara squirms.

“Lena, please.”

The brunette plays some more with her, stroking her lips and making teasing touches at her hot center.

Kara grabs her by the hair, hard, feeling like if she’s going to explode. “Please.”

Lena relents after that, attacking her clitoris with her tongue. She sucks, her hands firmly cupping her ass, squeezing when she deems necessary.

Kara comes, glorious, her whole body melting against the wall, her fingers curling up in her shoes.

Lena wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and gives Kara a depredatory smile.

They almost make it to the bed, when Kara is burying two fingers inside of Lena, sweat making their skin glow.

//

“Wow,” Kara says in the morning, lying in Lena’s bed. The sheet only covers half of her naked body. She shifts, a little sore. “That was mind blowing. Practicing with my clone in VR really paid off.”

“Shut up.” Lena snuggles closer to her chest, hiding her face in the crook of her neck.

She knows that everything isn’t fixed, that’s there’s still so much to do with their relationship, but for now, everything is okay and with that thought in mind Kara allows herself drift to sleep, with the woman she loves in her arms.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm kostaswift on tumblr.


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